i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
