READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
