You work out of a Hotel?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
