do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
