i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
