Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
not ubering you a puppy
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize