Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
