i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
