At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
