If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
