I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I would ride that face into the sunset
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
