I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
