At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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