What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
