there's paper in my vomit.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
