Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
