think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
