ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
