We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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