Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
