gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
