yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
