Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
