pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
