she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
