Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize
