this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he's gonorrhea incarnate
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
How does it feel to date your dad?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
