so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
