theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Of course I have a pirate flag
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just had sex on a roof
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize