Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
