it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
