Im at strip club and am horny
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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