Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
