I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
