did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
