Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
