I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
