He is such a slut. More and more my type.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
