you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
