I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
