My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
