i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
