i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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