I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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