doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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