you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
