Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
