he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
