there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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