He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I need a beard to bite.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
