At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize