i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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