she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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