i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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