Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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