i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
