We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
