we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize