This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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