You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
