Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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