i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
